The Good, Bad, and the Ugly

After my weekend of going back and forth between cheating and not cheating, I asked for help and ended up checking out a book at the library on emotional eating. I'm learning a lot about myself but now I need to figure out how to make myself better. One thing I do know is that I like to avoid problems. Maybe that is when eating comes in. I'm hoping I don't cheat throughout the entire round of this protocol but I keep telling myself don't beat yourself up. This is a lifelong struggle. If it was easy everyone would be skinny and wouldn't be searching for a magic pill.

I'm now at 211.6 and was at 214.6 after the load. In almost a week's time, I have only lost 3 lbs. That is disappointing but I just looked at my weekly weigh in log since I weigh in weekly anyway. Since the beginning of the year, I have lost 14 lbs. I definitely would not have been able to do that on my own.

I listened to Joel Osteen this week and he said something like you are not your past, your past prepares you for your future. I fear being upfront thinking I may be judged. How could I have so little willpower? I should have toughed it out. This blog has allowed me to be open and honest with myself. I don't think it is a mistake that I was chosen and definitely don't see myself failing at the task. It may take me a little while to get it together but the bright side is I may be able to help someone else deal with their issues and not have as hard of a time as myself.