Thanks everyone!

I wanted to thank everyone for their encouraging words. Evenings are always the worst for me because I am pretty much forcing the food down my mouth during the day. The other day I was eating chicken and was drinking water just to get it down. I gave up at the end and decided I'll get something I actually want. My biggest mistake is I go to the extremes. By the time I have a little piece, I end up with more than I needed in hopes I can start fresh the next day. I only have about 10 days or so left on this round and need to make the best of it. If I can be under 200 or at least very close to it, it will be great.

I truly don't think that most people can understand the magnitude food has on me. It may seem like an excuse to cheat but it always isn't the case. Other times I do think I give in to easily. Today for instance, I was going to the gym and thought maybe I will eat a stalk of celery before I go. I'm pretty much afraid of hunger because that is when I binge. I took a couple bites of the celery and felt bad because I wasn't hungry. I can't get to the point to tell myself it is okay. I may also be punishing myself in an unconscious way for overeating all these years. The celery is still there (it still has a bad taste eating it plain). I have eliminated a lot of stuff I can eat. The chicken breast is too dry (I've never liked the breast part anyway) then I can't stand scallops too much, especially baked or broiled because they taste rubbery. No salad greens because dressing is too tempting and now the celery. And let's not talk Stevia. I've decided to burn the packets because they definitely don't work well in my tea. It's just me and water now.

It sounds bad but I made up my mind I only have a few more days to go. I may have to do like a kid and either eat what I have or not eat at all :-) I don't want to take the opportunity for granted thought and would have never applied if I wanted to stay overweight.