Obsessed

For some reason lately, I have been obsessed with weight loss. I got to the movies and think, I want a dress just like that. I want something sleeveless. I can't wait for my stomach to be flat. It's crazy. Of course this is coming from someone who doesn't know what it will be like.

I weigh in on a weekly basis for a support group that I'm in. They are a great group, but unlike some of the other programs, they do not promote any particular plan - just sensible eating. Speaking of which, I ate dinner last night and had more than my portion. After I finished I felt bad and had no idea why I did it. I was full long before the plate was clean but for some reason it was something I had to accomplish.

Back to my weight issue, I have lost weight for 6 weeks in a row (mostly due to HCG). After I stopepd the injections, I was surprised I was still losing because of what I was eating. Last night it caught up with me and I gained 1.8 lbs. in a weeks time. While I know the HCG will get it off quick, I honestly felt like a beach whale. I was tossing and turning and each time I woke up my weight was on my mind. All the setbacks it has caused. All of the social opportunities I may have had and I walked away from fear. I've determined that each pound symbolizes some sort of pain, hurt, disappointment, etc. When I get rid of it, I can fully live. That's my motivation. My first goal is to get under 200, then something sleeveless, and then to get out of the cramped plus size department altogether :-)