Letting Go

I see people that say they are stalling for a particular item but how can you know. I honestly think my weight shows up days later. I am looking at my pattern and after loading I am usually down, I dont gain. But then I see it days later. I'm not certain if it is because I am not able to make it because I was also sick after I started and my appetite had increased. I found myself waking up with a growling stomach. Plus I was eating on both time zones.

But, the reason for the title of this post is because yesterday I woke up with the plan that I was going to be mean to people that were mean to me. It made perfect sense but I never did it. I realized that even though I believe I have forgiven a person it has still been a burden to me because I hadn't let go. So, I went to my messenger and unblocked a few folks that were on my list. Of course they started talking and I actually felt better. It was a sense of victory. By evening, I pulled out this brain change book. When I first started reading, I was taking notes and said I needed to answer a few of the questions asked.

Beyond losing weight, what do you most want to change about your life?

I want to be free and release this negative self-image I have about myself. While I think I am a wonderful person on the inside, I think I get treated based on my outside. And whenever I can't put a reason on something, then I conclude my weight is the reason. My mother and I were talking and she said can't you tell that so and so is conceited. But then I told her, some people act like that because of how someone treated them. I told her I am withdrawn because I always feel like an outsider. When I lose weight and can wear something sleeveless, I'm going to act cute too. :-)